The COCs (pronounced cocks) is a world known PMC, formed, operated, and controlled by Lieutenant Vasquez. It is one of the world's most powerful PMCs, striking fear into the hearts of coffee lovers.

History and Development

A few years back, Ltn's fancy decorative plants that he spent weeks on growing were killed by an armed mugger, a mug of coffee. From that day forward, Ltn fought all crimes involving coffee. But, as few may know, coffee isn't exactly the world's most intimidating criminals. Bored with the low crime rate, Ltn made a large factory that produced gallons and gallons of  java with evil genes and crime related tendencies. Ltn was happy, beating the shit out of coffee with his sidekick Cridone, but he was overwhelmed. The factory exploded, littering the earth with devious cups of joe. Poor little Ltn and Cri couldn't handle all of this, so, they organized a PMC.


This symbol used by the COCs quickly became the number 1 "Run the fuck away" sign

They named the PMC Coffee Opposing Contractors, nicknamed COCs. The army almost instantly grew, already gaining 10 troops on the first day. After the first month, the army already had over 500 mercenaries and overthrew the world. No army could defeat these Coffee Contractors. However, a rebelling militia called the Powerful Utilized Super Soldiers (nick named PUSS) came to fight the evil COCs. This began the Cold Coffees (nicknamed  CC I). Now, the world is secretly imbalanced of the Coffee defenders, PUSS and the Cup of Joe Jackels, COC.

Notable Members

  • Ltn Vasquez (now goes under the codename Insanity's Wolf):  Formed and controls the army; General
  • Cridone: Helped recruit troopers and formed, has a chair fetish; Colonel
  • Observer of chat rooms: Uses super dancing skills to fight and arguably is the best soldier in the army; Captain
  • DaRadicalLarry (codenamed: The Doctor): After selling the TARDIS for drugs, The Doctor joined the COCs because he hates coffee almost as much as he hates pears; Medic

Enemies and Opposers

PUSS Units

  • Zabidenu: If Ltn is Megatron, Zab is Optimus Prime and will defend his coffee rights if it costs his life; leader of the militia
  • Phantasmagorian: Second in command and has supernatural powers due to being a demimod; Colonel


After signing a combined effort against COC, Zab teamed up with PUSS' sister army, Nonsensical Overpowered Operation Dictators, NOOD, which is an army of noodles

Notable Missions

During CC I, the COCs had several missions relating to the downfall of their coffee loving enemies.

  • COC inside PUSS: General Vasquez sent a squad of specialized marines to intercept the PUSS' base and blow it up from the inside METAL GEAR STYLE. The squad was led by Observer but was a failure due to the fact Larry's damn TARDIS plushie alerted the PUSS troops.