So, I'm going to steal borrow Z-Bites's review Blog idea. This time, we'll be looking at SCP-001 proposals. Now, some of you might ask, "Why is 001 such a big deal?" Well, it'd be the first SCP on the mainlist, and a lot of people would want to see that, especially newcomers who might not be all that bright. It's one of the reasons why I believe 002 is so highly rated (thankfully it's still a good entry despite that).

These proposals kinda exist because the community doesn't really want an "universally accepted 001" for the sole reason I just stated. It also allows for a wide variety of headcanon. Each entry is different and has it's own story. Today, I dive into each entry and give my two cents.

Jonathan Ball's Entry: "Sheaf of Papers"

This is the second most simple entry among the proposals. In a nutshell, Ball's 001 is a collection of papers that every time a person observes it, a new SCP spawns in the world. The O5 have considered it to be "the most dangerous threat to national and global security to have existed" and even sought out to give it a new classification above Keter because of the fact (though it's still known as a Keter object). They won't open the briefcase it's stored in without unanimous agreement of the O5 council.

This does leave some sinister implications. What is still observing the papers? Are the O5 still looking at it because they need the Foundation to keep working? It's really vague, to be honest, on what's happening here. That vagueness is what harms this entry the most. Outside of that, it's a simple yet solid SCP object; masterpiece of fridge horror and a well-written concept.

The containment procedures do a decent job setting up the SCP and the follow-up description is certainly quite spooky. But the meaning and message of this proposal is underwhelming and for what it is just dissatisfying.

Score: 7/10; I recommend reading it.

DrGears' Entry: "The Prototype"

To come later

DrClef's Entry: "The Gate Guardian"

Exactly what it says on the tin: the Biblical being himself, the protector of the Garden of Eden.

Yep, another religious skip. Not even a good one at that. The issues with this SCP begin with it's containment procedures: there really aren't any. Worse yet is that it doesn't state that the Foundation is moderating any civilians that may see it. I mean, sure, one should assume that, but it's mentioned in every other article that is a location or immovable object so why isn't it stated here? Also, religious containment procedures: -1.

For those of you (the whole twelve of them) who don't know the Gate Guardian, its the soldier of God himself who protects the sacred land of Eden. It wields a fiery blade that swings in all directions and wipes everything in its path from existence. The Guardian itself is a fiery being with four large wings. Okay, so the Guardian himself is pretty anomalous in nature and interesting.

Now for the kicker: a transmission is sent from Site-0 (where 001 is "contained") describing the end of world, alongside some scrambled messages about God. The document details a breach of SCP-995, the opening of SCP-616, and the "activation" of SCP-098 (the Competitive Eschatology canon gives a good explanation of their "activation"). The hook? The message is dated from a future date. So the Apocalypse is coming, but how soon? No one knows. Whatever behind the door 001 protects, it's bad.

As for the experiments on 001, there's not much to them aside from "001 wipes them with his blade of fuckery". The only real noteworthy experiments were of 076-2 and 073. 076-2's reaction to approaching 001 is priceless. "No. Just no." As for 073, he was uninformed and, well, when he found out what it was he was a bit hesitant on proceeding. He got too close and the symbol on his head did... something, it was redacted. Experiments pretty much halted after that.

The concept itself is very mediocre, the execution is done very well, but the containment procedures are just dreadful, and the whole religious skip thing has been done to death.

Score: 5/10; read it if you want, but there better SCPs than this one.

qntm's Entry: "The Lock"

To be completely honest, I never got this entry. And I still don't get it.

The containment procedures are... alright I guess. They just don't provide anything interesting. Though the worst part of it is this: "SCP-001 is among the safest artifacts in the Foundation's possession and these measures are primarily intended to prevent theft." That's just terrible. And this article is at +40? Shameful.

It just appears to be a gemstone that has locked something called "Apakht" and they can't open the thing. Big deal. The thing, this proposal doesn't really have a hook, or an interesting idea at that. It's... boring. I don't like using that as an excuse to not like something but it's true. This entry is stale and overall uninteresting.

The additional notes are alright, but they leave very few things to really reflect on.

Score: 4/10; I don't recommend bothering with it.

DrBright's Entry: "The Factory"

The Factory is a well-known group of interest, responsible for the creation of certain SCPs on the site. It was GOI made none other than by the user Bright himself, and he considers it his the most worth-while contribution to the SCP-verse... which is easily the most laughable and pathetic thing I've ever heard.

I'll be short and simple here: I hate The Factory. It's the most uninteresting, stupid, and just unimpressive GOI in the SCP universe. It doesn't have a catch, it doesn't have a running pattern than "itz rly bad!!1!", and comes off as extremely childish. Sorry, but Dr. Wondertainment is not only better, but more fascinating than the Factory. Even if the Factory is more "edgy" (which it isn't, in my opinion).

So why is all this important? Because it affects how I view this particular entry. I'll give the entry this much; telling this as a Tale by an O5 member is actually very clever. But it has too many problems.

One, it basically goes out of it's way to insult DrClef's proposal. I may not like Gate Guardian much, but just to insult it for the sake of it "being overrated" is pompous. The Tale goes on to explain about a James Anderson, who created the Factory in 1835 to produce items for the general public. It details how the workers of this Factory are pretty much trapped there, but have a home and something to eat. No one minded the items forged from wicked origins because they were good products.

The Foundation was created by the government to contain the Factory after Anderson got out of hand with his products. It details the founding and later break up of the original O5 council, which also includes the creation of some of the Foundation's other GOIs. But one day, "things", nicknamed faeries, started to come out of The Factory, and eventually it attacked the young Foundation. And they lost.

The narrator (which DrBright has commented is O5-1) said he was able to escape, and pretty much made a deal with an entity (of whom I can only assume is the fuckin' Devil) and destroyed the faeries, wiping them from the face of the Earth. A dead species, in Layman's terms. It's revealed that O5-1 has been speaking to Everett Mann this whole time and that the price of his deal was to send in people to the now-defunct and abandoned Factory every day or so. Sometimes D-Class, sometimes the researchers. O5-1 tells Everett that he's explaining this that someone has to continue the ritual if he dies. The faeries might come back if no one "feeds" the Factory.

Where do I even begin? This is suppose to be the "big bad 001"? THIS is the worst atrocity the Foundation's ever committed? Give me a break. I don't care if it's not directly said that sacrificing personnel is "the worst crime" of the Foundation, it's damn-well implied to be. All that build-up for this? That's the best you could come up with?

Also, well done trying to make Everett look like an evil scientist again, Bright. Didn't you already ruin that with these Tales? Sorry, not buying it.

The idea is dreadful, running off with an already awful GOI, and the buildup (while absolutely fantastic) leads to the most disappointing climaxes on the site to date. The writing here, admittedly, is some of the best I've seen. I'm just sorry to say that it comes with the weakest entry in the list of proposals. When I think "overrated piece of shit", this 001 comes to mind.

Score: 3/10; don't waste your time with it.

EverettMann's Entry: "The Spiral Path"

Remember when I said Ball's entry was the second simplest 001 proposal? Well, this is the first. It's almost ridiculous how simple, but it works. It's also the first proposal so far to actually use a different classification, "Embla". Embla, in Norse mythology, was the first female human created on Earth. Why does this matter? We'll get to that.

There's not much to say about the SCP itself, it's simple and to the point but it does the job. It's basically a geologically impossible area, a gravel path that leads uphill continuously despite that it should've stopped long ago. As for containment procedures, they just have security to prevent civilians from entering (looking at you, Gate Guardian) and a research team studying anomalies with the path. Again, simple but satisfying. The procedures also mention a metal plaque that is to be maintained properly. What does this have to do with anything? Again, we'll get to that.

Now we get to the attached document assigned for "Only O5 Personnel". The document starts off with the narrator, an O5, stating that one of them has died from some circumstance. He then goes on to explain that if the reader hasn't already figured it out that any and all recoveries listed on studied SCP objects were falsified and made up whole cloth; that no SCP has ever been "discovered".

He goes on to explain how he and his brother Aaron Siegel found 001 while visiting family in Essex county. They soon created a group dedicated to trying to figure out the anomaly behind it, how it worked. The group was sending funds too quickly and resorted to asking Thomas, another friend, to use his connections to help fund the project. Soon enough, they started creating more objects from this little "break in reality": SCP-005, SCP-018, SCP-006. Then they started testing on humans, like SCP-014. However with came troublesome objects like SCP-033, SCP-087, and SCP-015; they needed help. Soon Thomas was able to make the project into an international organization after enough nations agreed to the idea sometimes under aliases (like "Chaos Insurgency" and "Prometheus Labs"), recruiting researchers to study the objects that they had no idea were being created by the original group.

However, soon after Thomas and Jeremy (an original group member) ran off with one of the objects and made Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltn. while another began worshipping machines, of course resulting in the Church of the Broken God. And then they began creating more sinister objects. SCP-076, SCP-354, SCP-610. Even after SCP-682, they couldn't stop because something kept driving them. Whatever reason there was in creating them is now long forgotten. But then comes the real twist: now they're just appearing in containment, as if they were always there. They weren't being created anymore. They don't have control over the SCP objects anymore. Maybe they never did.

See, this is what Bright's entry should've been. Explaining the origin of the Foundation without some cliched "deal with the devil" nonsense. The origin is well told with some class A story-telling techniques. It leaves on a heavy note, and takes some more liberties with the "no canon" rule far better than any proposal thus far, granted I won't accept this as my own headcanon. The idea is a terrific one, taking a little stain in reality's fabric and pulling it until it's too big. Portraying the Foundation as something trying to fix what's too far gone is actually an interesting interpretation. Original? Oh hell no. But it executed differently here and overall very well-done.

The only issue I have is that it pretty sucks out a lot of creativity for recovering SCPs. I mean, if you were to take this document as canon, then SCPs like SCP-017 and SCP-409 would definitely make a lot of sense but an SCP whose recovery raises and overall improves the article is just kinda ruins the fact.

Outside of that, this is a wonderful entry. With a unique, meaningful classification (because it helped found the Foundation), simple SCP, and great backstory, it succeeds in what a successful 001 proposal should be. Oh, and the plaque? It's to commemorate the original group that created the Foundation.

Score: 8/10; I recommend it to those looking for a good read, though not a perfect SCP.

Mackenzie's Entry: "The Legacy"

To come later